and I’m just sitting here still trying to figure out how Organization XIII stole the word “photo” like what kind of alien demon dark magic technology where they using to pull that off

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HOLY SHIT! I THOUGHT I DREAMED THIS WHEN I WAS A KID BUT THIS BULLSHIT REALLY HAPPENED! HOLY SHIT!
hope you didn’t pee yourself
thank you amazon for FINALLY letting me file a claim for the incorrect amount of products i received OVER A MONTH AGO. (I ORDERED 100 CELL PHONE LARIATS AND ONLY RECEIVED 10 WHAT THE FUCK)
now it’s too late for me to do anything about it you bastards.
at least the damn seller is nice and seems more willing to help than your shitting claims service.
realistic captions for selfies:
- i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
- i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
- i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
- i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
- this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments


I was trying to make Akinator guess himself. After a few questions he asked if my character was a genie and I knew he was going to get it, so when he asked if my character was gay I just said yes. The he asked if my character was known for a specific sexual act and I said yes again. This is the answer I got.
look how proud he is of his sexy bf
I didn’t know Akinator was gay.
well this is awkward
wants two pairings of my ocs to do it
both pairings are physically unable to do it due to specific reasons
do you see my problem here

Demons run when a good man goes to war.
Night will fall and drown the sun
When a good man goes to war.
Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war.
Demons run, but count the cost.
The battle’s won but the child is lost.HOLY SHIT
this is beautiful
